"It's How You Finish"

July 26, 2025

Today, our family had the privilege of watching Dyson walk across the stage at Athens State University and receive his bachelor’s degree. At 26 years old—a husband and father to a toddler—he embodies the very heart of Athens State’s motto: “It’s how you finish.” And oh, how true that is.

As parents, we often start our children on paths with hopeful intentions and great expectations. For us, education has always been a foundational aspect. We embedded college tours into our family vacations—Yale, Georgetown, Michigan State, Auburn, Duke, Clemson, Troy, UNC—our kids grew up knowing that higher education wasn’t just a goal; it was something we valued deeply and saw as part of their future. We thought we were planting seeds—and we were—but what we didn’t fully grasp then is that seeds don’t bloom on our timeline.

Dyson’s journey didn’t follow the script we had in mind. He didn’t love college right after high school. And we were pretty hard-nosed about it—“While you live here, you will go to college.” After two years of that push-and-pull, he finally settled into a program at Calhoun that he could tolerate. Then Spring of 2020 hit. And like so many others, the world shifted—suddenly everything was online, and Dyson had zero interest in continuing school on a computer (the irony of that now is not lost on us). He made a decision: he was going to work full-time. And he did just that, pouring the next four years into a start-up company with loyalty and grit.

There were moments we worried, moments we wondered, and yes—moments we pushed. But one of the biggest lessons we’ve learned is this: when it becomes important to them, they’ll take the steps necessary to make it happen. And Dyson did.

Why yes, that's a Magna Cum Laude medal he's wearing!

Dyson worked full-time, he got married, and not long after, he found out he was going to be a daddy. That’s when things shifted. He knew—now was the time to go back to school.

Baby girl loves her daddy!

Watching him earn his degree—knowing the weight he carried to get there, working full-time with travel, navigating life as a husband and new father—has been one of the proudest moments of our lives. Not because it unfolded the way we once imagined, but because it unfolded the way he needed it to.

Proud Dad: 3 Generations of Barksdales

And as I reflect, especially for parents walking through post–high school graduation season with their children, I want to offer a gentle reminder: don’t get so focused on what you expect the next four years to look like that you miss the beauty of the present. People say that not everyone is made for college, but I say that not everyone is made for college right after high school.

In 2017, when Dyson graduated high school, I didn’t give myself the space to celebrate him the way I should have. Senior year can be a true challenge to the baby adult- parent relationship. At the same time, we were facing growing tension and challenges with my mother-in-law—challenges that, in hindsight, were the early signs of her rapid cognitive decline. The stress was heavy. The emotions were high. And I let that cloud what should have been a joyful, celebratory moment. I remember saying to him, “Congratulations—this is the easiest thing you’ll ever achieve.” And while I might have meant it as motivation, I now see it for what it was: a missed opportunity to simply honor the moment.

I assumed his high school graduation would be the first of many. I didn’t consider the possibility that it might be his only. And looking back, I regret that I didn’t pause to appreciate what he had accomplished. Not everyone finishes high school. Every milestone matters—on its own. It deserves to be seen, celebrated, and honored for what it is, not only for what it’s supposed to lead to.

The past eight years have taught me that nothing in life is guaranteed. Not college. Not careers. Not even a clear path forward. Plans change. People grow. And sometimes, things don’t happen until the timing is right for them—not us.

So to the parents preparing for life after high school graduations: celebrate what’s in front of you. Truly celebrate it. This chapter matters. Even if the next one doesn’t look like you imagined, it doesn’t mean the story isn’t unfolding just as it should.

Dyson, thank you for teaching us all that it’s never too late, that the path can be winding. That with grit, faith, and grace,—you can finish strong. We are so proud of you.

And this time, we’re soaking in every single moment.